So this is the new year.
And i don’t feel any different.
Those are the first two lines from a Death Cab for Cutie song from 2003 (wow, I can’t believe it’s been so long!). I literally haven’t thought of that song since that time, now eight plus years ago. But it came back to me today at the coffee shop that I’m sitting at while brainstorming blog posts to keep me on schedule for more frequent updates in 2012.
When I reflect on those lines now, I can’t believe how far from how I feel it is. I realize that people grow up, they change, they mature. I firmly believe we’re constantly evolving, if only we allow ourselves to do so. I think one of the happiest changes for me over these last few years has been letting go. It’s a difficult process, but letting go of old hang ups, old resentments or bitterness, I’m a happier person than I was even three years ago. I’m thankful for that and I’m thankful that people can change, that we don’t have to be the same person we thought we’d always be. Anyways… sap, sap, sap.
So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
I’ve made quite a number of changes before the beginning of the year that I look forward to continuing. New house and a new way of looking at my work schedule. Like most of you I’m sure, the last thing I want to do when I get home is more work. But I’m beginning to see my writing time now not as a continuation of the previous eight or nine hours, but as a reward for having done them. It’s damn hard to be creative after a long day of work but taking a walk is one way that I recharge my batteries. For the foreseeable future I won’t be able to reduce my workload so I’m just coming up with a schedule of sorts to be able to do the things that I actually want to do. I’m excited about this coming year in the same way I was dreading 2011 (for whatever reason) when it rolled around. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make my own positive change as the year progresses. I hope you will too.